How Do You Measure Your Worth?
Have you ever gone into an interview or meeting with a potential client feeling very confident and pumped up about the opportunity before you – only to leave that meeting feeling as if you had a false sense of self-worth?
So what happened? What changed the way you perceived yourself during that meeting? Were you asked a question that you could not answer? Did someone point out a fact that you had not considered? Did someone compare you to another candidate or vendor and highlight an asset that your competitor had and you didn’t?
If any of the above scenarios or any other event happened to you that made you second guess yourself – then I have great news for you! YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS FEELING! Acts like this are made to try to knock you off your central point. Made to try to get you off your game! Purposely you ask? Maybe – maybe not – but either way you must learn how to overcome these obstacles and keep moving forward! The minute you let the self-doubt creep into your consciousness, you start to second guess every word thereafter that exits your mouth. Your body language changes and your eye contact goes from focused to shifting! The audience to which you are speaking will sense this change and start to push harder to break you. So, what should you do when you are faced with this dilemma? You need to do the following 3 things immediately!
- So – who do you think you are talking to? Yes, you need to ask the other person this question (in your mind of course). You do not deserve to be discredited or belittled by your audience. Therefore, you should immediately make this statement (silently) to help your brain block that initial self-confidence blow that was just administered. When you repeat this phrase to yourself, your body language will automatically adjust! Your posture will straighten up and you will involuntary lean forward a little. You will also feel your eyebrows raise slightly and your brain will react immediately looking for a poised response to the situation. Your self-confidence is ready to position itself for the next strategic move.
2. Acknowledge the issue that you have just been presented with and then raise the stakes a notch – If someone asks you a question that you cannot answer completely or points out an attribute that you do not have – first – address the void and then add what you can offer to compensate for what may be perceived that you are missing. For example,
Interviewer: Miss, we are looking for someone with management experience and it does not look as if you have that.
You: (WRONG ANSWER): You are correct – I do not have people management experience.
If you provide the above answer, you will more than likely slump your shoulders and slouch your posture because you will feel defeated – thinking that you are not qualified for the position. What you should say is the following:
You (Better Answer): I do not have people who I manage directly, however, I have experience in managing complex projects that included directing individuals on meeting requirements and deadlines as well as providing feedback on their project accomplishments and opportunities. I also have stepped up into leadership positions where I manage team members on responsibilities in which we had to meet stated goals for my organization. I am confident that my experiences in this capacity has prepared me for direct people management responsibilities.
- Relax – you got this! Finally, remember that you are at this specific place – at this specific time for a reason! God would not have placed you in this moment if you were not qualified to be there! When you are feeling an ounce of doubt – take your control back and own the space you’re in! What God has for you is for you and no one can take that away! God does not give us the spirit of fear or self-doubt so stand up, be confident, and give it your all!
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